Harvest black walnuts

Harvesting walnuts ain't easy no matter what you do but they are so freakin' tasty and walnuty that no matter how much time and sweat you put into it, you're going to be rewarded.

First is to get the hulls off. Dad used to put them down on the driveway and just drive over them many times and many days. Eventually the hulls came off, became part of the driveway and he'd rake up the nuts.

Trouble with that, for me, is the army of neighborhood squirrels who'll steal you blind. Which also means I have to beat the squirrels to getting the nuts in the first place, and I can't leave them out to dry. But I do soften them up by driving over them.

From there, I put them in a kids' plastic swimming pool in the garage and I stir them every day or two with a rake to speed the drying process. Be sure to keep the hulls away from the garden and compost pile - for the same reason you never plant a walnut tree near a garden. It's the kiss of death.

It is recommended by the University of Minnesota Extension Office that the nuts be cured for two weeks, then stored in a fairly humid, cool place.

They say that before shelling the nuts they should be soaked in water for about 24 hours. If nuts rise to the top of the water they're no good. Well, maybe. I tried it with mixed results, but the nasty mix of walnut goo and water makes this a worthless exercise, especially when the shelling process seemed no easier.

As for the shelling process, I've recently decided that the easiest and surest way to go at it is to wrap the walnuts in a clean but worn-out towel or heavy rag, hold it over a piece of steel and give it a wham with a hammer. Two whams probably.

Pick from the towel all the shell shards that contain nut meat and whatever tiny good parts you can find, put them in a container and take them to a quiet, well-lit spot with a nut pick and carefully separate the nut meat from the things that will break your teeth.

For preservation of the nut meats, the advice from Minnesota is to bake them for 10-15 minutes at 215 degrees. Otherwise, you can refrigerate them in a jar or plastic bag for up to nine months, or frozen and kept for up to two years.