Inexpensive funeral

Among life's most wasteful expenses are those accrued when you die.

The most unfortunate aspect of this is the fact that most of that expense is unnecessary and would be avoided if folks would face up to the fact that they're gonna die and get ready. If they did, they'd order up a sensible send-off; cremation, for example.

I know that's not for everyone, but that's the script for Rosalie and me. Why waste money on caskets, burial plots, excessive services by funeral homes, and all the other pretentiousness that goes along with "final expenses" because it's maybe somehow expected, or because everyone else does it, or because survivors are trying to be kind to the deceased, or for lack of communicating about it beforehand?

Rosalie and I have a good, firm understanding that we will be cremated. There will be no casket, no burial, no "viewing." None of that depressing claptrap. Just poof, and away with the "remains." Let our survivors be as inventive as they wish with the ashes. We don't care and we're not going to be offended, no matter what the outcome.

There will be, instead, a "celebration of life" service later, when things have cooled down and folks have their wits about them. Let it be happy; a true celebration of a life lived and the positive climax thereto.

Well, that's for us; not to everyone's preference for sure. I mention it as an example of how it can work if folks would talk about it ahead of time. Consider, too, a written legal agreement, especially if there could be attempted interference by other relatives.

Some couples and/or families may need to shop around by visiting a funeral home or two perhaps. Learn about your options from these folks. Maybe get your plan in writing at a funeral home, and if you insist on going out Cadillac-style, consider pre-paying to lock in prices.

Check veterans', Social Security, and insurance death benefits, and write this stuff down so there won't be any fumbling later.

Also, try to plan to avoid probate court with its hassle, expense and wasted time. If your affairs and your family are without much complication it can be handled by signing over your assets to survivors beforehand. Rosalie and I have joint ownership of every asset. When the first of us goes, there will be no questions about who remains as owner.

When the second of us goes, we hope to have those assets listed in joint ownership with our beneficiaries. As a back-up, we both have wills, and living wills.

Let it be peaceful, quick, and cheap. We all should be so lucky.

EDIT: Because this is such a good addition to my thoughts above, here's the comment left by Dave Levingston:

I agree, except that there is an even better way to handle "remains." My uncle did it and when I saw how it worked I decided that was what was going to happen with me when the time comes.

If you donate your body to "science" there is no cost at all. And your body does some good after you are gone. My uncle's body went to a medical school. After his death, his son-in-law simply contacted the school and they came and picked up the body. No cost to the family at all. And some medical student probably got to learn skills that will save lives in the future thanks to his donation. Seems like a great approach to me.